10 Things You Didn't Know About Me

#10- My favorite singer in the whole wide wor- Oh wait, everybody already knows that.

Let's try that again...
#10- I'm actually a really shy person when I first meet someone.
  #9- I'm a clean freak, and can sometimes be a little OCD about it.
  #8- I'm a Belieber.
  #7- I'm a homebody.
  #6- I want to go skydiving so bad!!
  #5- I've never been drunk.
  #4- I've never done any kind of drugs and don't plan on ever doing any.
  #3- I'm honestly worried that I'll never settle down because of my gypsy soul.
  #2- I suffer from anxiety and sometimes have panic attacks.
  #1- My biggest fear is failure.

So now you know a little more about me!

So Until Next Time...
Don't Forget To Smile!!

Letter to Heaven

I thought of you today. I took Levi for a walk and found your collar when I was looking for a leash.

Today is perfect. You would absolutely love it! I can see you out in the yard just laying down in the sun, letting the wind blow as you stick your nose up towards the sky. It's days like these I think of you the most. Also when the snow was everywhere we thought of you because of how much you loved the snow as well. You just loved to be outside. Even though it's still hard to except you're gone, days like these make me feel better. I know you're enjoying it up in heaven, where everyday is a perfect one. You just loved life. And we loved you, It still hurts everyday, just as bad as the day you left us. It's still just as hard to think about you, talk about you, and write about you. As I'm writing this, tears are pouring into my lap. They are peaceful tears though, because I know you are no longer suffering and you're up there with your family and friends, and knowing you are watching over us. 
I really miss you. There are still days I turn and look for you to be laying down in your usual spot in the kitchen. Those days are hard. It's hard to believe you are really gone.
It's weird to think about how much an animal can impact your heart. You are family, always will be. You're the dog I'll be telling my kids about someday.
The day we put you down, I told myself I would never get another dog again. I didn't wanna go through that again. I wish you would've had some puppies so we could still have a part of you in our lives. Although, you will always be here, in our hearts. We have so many memories with you. Like when you used to put clothes in the food bowl so levi couldn't get any, or when we turned around in the car and you had a McDonalds sack on your head trying to get the french fries that were in the bottom :). I'm happy that we've made it to the point where we can look back and smile and laugh about things like that.

I can't wait for the day when I get to see you again, hug you and pet you, see you do elvis because you're so excited to see me.

Love you Bubbers
Until we meet again,
I'll try not to forget to smile :)

I'm Sorry.

Well It's Valentine's Day, and once again I find myself alone. All day I've been thinking about why I'm single, even though I've had the chance to be in more than one relationship. I think about the person that I like, whom I mentioned in my blog yesterday, the one that I've liked for nearly 8 years. We'll call him "Tatertot." Eight Long Years.. I think he's part of the reason why I never get into a relationship. I'm too caught up in him to wanna try a relationship with anyone else. So then I think about all the people I've just kinda left hanging, those who I decided I didn't wanna give any effort towards a relationship with. The song "Better as a Memory" by Kenny Chesney comes to my mind..

"I see you leaning, you're bound to fall,
  I don't wanna be that mistake.
  I'm just a dreamer, nothing more.
  You should know it before it gets too late."

Boy can I relate to this song. I wish it was that easy, to just say that and walk away. There's always questions why, they don't understand. I think the only people who truly understand that are the people who can honestly relate. I've come to realize that I'm too afraid of getting my heart broke so I won't let anyone in. That's the other reason I'm single. If I start to feel myself getting to like someone, I push them away. I find things I don't like in them; I look for the bad, rather than the good in guys. It makes me feel like a horrible person.
There's a handful of people I can name that I've done this to. So I want to apologize. If I'm not willing to let you in, I'm just not worth it. Actually, I just wrote a new song that says, "My heart's not meant to stay in the same place, and I can promise you, It's not even worth the chase.."
So to you, I'm sorry.

There is one person in particular I really want to apologize to..
I realize that your feelings towards me are the same I have for Tatertot. I would've done anything to be with Tatertot, still would honestly, and I poured my heart out to him, just like you. I know how it feels to be in your shoes, to be the only one in love, to be willing to do anything for them and they wouldn't do the same for you. Just like "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. It sucks, I know. Trust me. That's why I feel so bad about this. So to you, you know who you are, I am truly sorry.

I wonder if I'll ever get over this Tatertot guy. I was actually doing pretty good for a little while, but I didn't last. I would like to move on with my life. I would like to let someone else in. I honestly believe that the only way I'll get over him, is for him to break my heart and prove to me he's a complete DOUCHE-BAG and that he's not worth my time and all these wasted years and tears. I'll have to admit though, I did get a lot of good songs out of my crush with Tater Tot. That's one good thing about love and heartache, they make damn good songs.
Sometimes I wonder if that's also a reason that I am the way I am. I'm a songwriter, we look for inspiration in true-life experiences. Heartbreak, sadness, loneliness...they make better songs. I wonder if I really do have a gypsy soul.. I don't think I'm meant to stay in one place for too long. I really wish I could share the lyrics of my new song, but I don't have a copyright on it. Just reading the lyrics would make you understand how I am.
See, as I'm typing this, I have a guy asking me if I wanna hang out this weekend, but I'm resisting. I'm trying to change that, I would really like to at least..

It's getting late and I'm getting tired and might start to not make sense lol. So I will leave you with this..
I hope I find love one day, I hope everyone does, no one deserves to be lonely forever. I know God has a plan for me and I'm excited to see what it is! So I'm just gonna go with the flow and see what is in store for me! Thanks for reading!

So Until Next Time..
Don't Forget To Smile :)

What I'm About

Hey there, I'm Kylee... I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you what I'm all about.
I decided to start my own blog after watching the movie "Easy A." If you haven't seen the movie yet, first off you have no life and you are really missing out on a great movie, but it's about a high school girl who, by telling one little white lie, makes herself to be the center of attention. I'm not going to go into great detail because you really need to watch the movie and I don't wanna give it away. Anyway, she uses a live blog to explain herself, apologize to those she hurt and set the school straight. This inspired me.

I've always enjoyed writing. It was always my favorite subject in school, and I've written songs since I was 12. Writing was my way of expressing myself and my emotions, random thoughts, bad days, my crush on that one guy that I've liked since sixth grade(those who know me well enough know who I'm talking about). So I decided to share all of this with anyone who is willing to read it I guess. Hopefully someone will read this, even if they don't, at least I'm not holding it all inside.

Moving on now...
So more about me.. I live in a small town in Southwest Missouri. It's very boring here, so I'm not going anymore into it. I'm huge on family! My family is absolutely crazy, in a good way of course! We're very close and would drop anything on a moments notice if a loved one was in need of help. We definitely know how to have a good time, when we are all together, you better watch out because like I said, we get crazy! I love them and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. I know that's cliche but it's the truth. I can't imagine not having a close family like I do, I think it's odd when families aren't this way. Isn't that what family is all about?
I absolutely love music! It is my LIFE, if you didn't get that by just reading the title of my blog.. I sing, write songs, and play a little guitar. I'll listen to just about anything, but the music I write is Country Music. Music is my constant, the one thing I've always had, and it's amazing to know that it will always be there. It's my inspiration in everything I do, I honestly think I wouldn't be the person that I am today if it wasn't for the influence that music has had on my life.

I don't wanna go too far away from the reason I'm writing this blog so I'm just going to come out and say it. My life goal is to make a difference in someone's life, or inspire them or touch them in one way or another. Up until recently, I thought that would happen through my music. Before this past month, music was the only thing I've ever wanted to do. I didn't go to college right out of high school because I had originally planned on moving to Nashville, TN, to pursue my dream of being a country music singer. Well there I was nearly two years later, still in this tiny town and really having no idea of what direction I wanted my life to go. It took me long enough, but I've finally decided that I want to go to college, do the kinesiology program and get certified to be a fitness trainer. Now, not only will this help me to stay healthy and make better lifestyle choices, I can make a change for the better in someone that needs it. I can make a HUGE difference in more than one persons life. So if music doesn't work out for me, at least my life goal will be accomplished!

So in conclusion, as random as this post seems, this is how my whole blog will be. I can be a very random person at times and in others I can be very serious and passionate about something. I hope you enjoy this blog that I will dub a "Roller Coaster Ride." Hopefully I can make you laugh, cry, think, or just smile. I also hope I don't get too annoying, because I'm sure some of my true colors will come out every now and then.

So Until Next Time...
Don't Forget to Smile :)